I haven't been doing as much yoga as I'd like, here in Hong Kong. It's ridiculously expensive, so I've taken up running again, just a little bit.
Last Monday I went to a really intense power yoga session. I was keeping up with most everything pretty well, until we got to backbends - wheel and camel, especially. These are poses that open up the heart center. Basically they expose my neck and chest, pulling back my shoulders, exposing my heart to the world.
People may think of me as someone who wears my heart on my sleeve, but there are definitely certain parts of my heart that I do not expose to anyone very easily. My shoulders slump forward slightly all the time to protect myself. And I think this is why in camel pose I want to PUKE ALL OVER THE PLACE. I feel totally nauseous and I swear I can feel myself turning green. So last Monday, Holly the instructor said to me, "You do not like to open your heart. You need to let go and open your heart center to enjoy everything the world has to offer."
In my head I was thinking, "Jeez lady... is it that easy?" I guess my excuse is that I've experienced enough heart break in my life to find it really hard to do wheel and camel now, figuratively. When I was a kid I could totally drop back and do wheel and camel was a cinch. What happened to me that I am scared witless from doing a backbend starting from a standing position? What happened that I can't do a simple camel pose?
