I've been feeling really down lately. Some would say I was depressed. I was feeling inexplicably empty, without motivation, no drive. One day I slept almost 21 hours. Mind you that was after pulling an all nighter and being sick, but still... 21 hours!!! Then I felt disgusted with myself for being lazy, but I wasn't able to climb out of the blues.
In reflecting, I realized that it may have been since March 2007 that my life was going at about 100 mph, non-stop. When I stop to write out what I did since last year, I realize why people tell me all the time that I seem so busy.
March 2007: Cambodia/Thailand
May 2007: Qualifying exams in May
July 2007: Japan
July - November 2007: UCSA Presidency madness
October 2007: Mom gets sick
November 2007: Hong Kong with mom for surgery and prepping for my oral exams at the same time
November 30, 2007: Return to the U.S.
December 4, 2007: (passing!) Oral Exam and going ABD!
January 2008: Campaigning for Obama in NV and CA (ED 222B*)
February 2008: Campaigning for Obama in Hawaii (ED 222B)
[*222B is a right of passage in Education at UCLA - field observation methods - REALLY INTENSE class!]
All the while, I was working and publishing.
Perhaps F is right when he said my bout with the blues has something to do with the fact that I don't have something critically important to handle at every moment of my days.
It's March now. No traveling. No crisis. No massive killer deadline. Still working, but I just have to do the dissertation. That's it. God willing, I will be out of here in June 2009... but, out to ... Where? The job market for Critical Race Education scholars is poopy because the economy is in the dumps... plus my professional philosophy is so critical of that ever so problematic law "No Child Left Behind."
Plus, with the way the Dems are clobbering each other, if McCain wins... oh man. *SIGH!*
that would be a massively loud SIGH!
But today... I turned on the tv during a break and saw BASEBALL! Red Sox in Japan!!!!! And it was a good one. Manny being Manny as always, and winning the game! I couldn't help but smile and crank out a draft proposal for work.
