In the next 30 days a lot can happen. I need to focus and be comfortable with CHANGE(!), whatever that may bring.
I leave on Wednesday for Hong Kong, where the plan is to be productive and supportive of family. A side note: The plan is also to not let the weight loss ads mess with me again. Everywhere you go there you see these ads. Notice that the before picture is of the woman at 120 pounds. Now she's all happy and playing with butterflies at 105 pounds.
Anyhoo... yea, the next 30 days. I guess this really means my summer is over. My dissertation is back on track. I finish data collection tomorrow! There are only 30 days until the General Election (Obama/Biden '08!). And just as I'm leaving LA for a month, DF is back in my life.
Tomorrow I'll be done with 98% of my data collection. Loose ends will be tied up when I get back from HK if necessary. As per my conversation with the Don and since I got a little fire under me to finish, I'll be graduating this June. And as of today, I'm officially applying to 5 different assistant professorships in Education and Ethnic Studies departments. Because of my area of research and teaching interests, all but 1 are in California. The one outside Cali is at UMASS-Amherst. Yup... 30 minutes from mom and dad. Only 2 positions are in the LA area. The others are in San Diego and the Bay area. I'm not sure how competitive I am, but we'll see.
I really don't know what the next 30 days will bring. Obama looks like he's getting stronger every week. Even Karl Rove's website officially predicts Obama to win now.
Everything could change after November 4. At brunch today with SG and DC, we ended up talking with a gorgeous Nigerian American couple about the elections and where we would all go around the world if this country is dumb enough to go for another 4 years of the Bush doctrine and other ridiculosity. DC will go to Trinidad. SG is thinking Brazil. I'm still on my India kick, to study to become a yogi. The Nigerian couple said they'd go back to Nigeria. I got the sense that we were only half joking.
Mom goes into surgery on Thursday. I should just be getting to HK when she comes out of the OR. Depending on the prognosis, everything will change for my family. I'm still hopeful, but will embrace and deal with whatever turns out.
In the midst of all this craziness, DF popped back into my life. The relationship he was in ended a few weeks ago. He went to Vegas on the trip I organized for the Obama campaign. Then he came to the Ozomatli concert at the Hollywood Bowl... I'm still processing that whole night. A very bizarre night indeed. Last weekend we hung out and studied together, and he paid for dinner... definitely unprecedented on his part, but hey... friends can treat friends to dinner. And we hung out Friday night and last night. Friday night was definitely unmistakable as a date. It's been a while since I've had an unmistakable date with dinner paid for by a boy. It was nice. But I have to remember the Buddhist principle that attachment brings suffering. I have to always practice embracing the moment, and not wondering about the future.
A lot can happen in 30 days, and listening to my heart and body (yoga term!) I'm not ready for a commitment right now. As Biden said in the debate last week, "Past is Prologue," and my past has made me very wary of investing in being someone's girlfriend. I think I'm much more interested in getting to know someone first and only stepping it up to being exclusive if it's something I'm clear on. Being someone's girlfriend brings responsibilities that I don't know if I'm ready for yet... and that may be a clear sign that I'm not.
30 days and a lot of things can happen.
