Thoughts on Marriage

Nearly two years after being engaged to be married, I'm at a point where I am thankful and relieved that I didn't get married. Imagine if I'd been married to the wrong person, someone with no spine, someone who didn't know himself? Wow, would I have been miserable. The interesting thing since then that has developed is that I don't have that "OMG, I'm almost 3# years old and I'm no where close to finding my life partner" feeling anymore. It's been replaced with, I might and I might never find my life partner. I'm at peace with either. I know so many amazing 30-something kick ass women of color who are single, and live full lives, full of love from family and friends, and not alone.

I really like this recent blog entry on Racialicious about being a single (not alone) woman of color and marriage.

What really struck me was this statement:

I’ve always wondered if the shell we develop to guard against racism is at the crux of the sorry relationship between brothers and sisters.

Through my yoga practice, I have noticed how reluctant I am to positions that "open my heart center" or force me to physically lead with my heart. Maybe it's about meeting the right person? I dunno. Maybe the right person will come along if I open my heart to let the universe/God bring good things into my life, but then I remember that God has already brought me amazing and beautiful people and events into my life, and feel grateful and in awe of the gifts.

I used to think my life was incomplete if I didn't get married. Now I appreciate everything that has come into my life and breathe in the fullness of life ... and love. If the icing never happens, I'm all good. Sometimes the icing gives me a belly ache.